Is the Grass Greener???

So as of the last few weeks, I've been put through some serious tests... I've been wondering if the grass is greener on the other side of the fence and what I've discovered is NOT AT ALL!!! (Steph you're the only one who's going to know what I'm talking about it here)
Have you ever thought about the other side? Another life? Another path? And wondered what it would be like if you had of taken it?? Wonder what it would be like to the point where you kinda flirted a little with the idea?? Yeah did it afew times now... And I can honestly say that the grass is NOT always greener on the other side... Infact it's acutally kind of dead on the other side, It's all rangled and not well kept, full of weeds actually... (you get what I'm getting at Steph?)
So my theory in life has become, be thankful for what you have. Appreciate it and love it because tomorrow you may not have it. Tomorrow it might be to late to save it, or to late to finally realize that the grass on your side is as green as you want it to be, full of beautiful flowers and birds that sing.
It's not to late for me... but for some it is. I will never wonder if the grass is greener any more. I will never debate the path to take, and I will never again wonder what would have or could have been.
P.S. Steph....LOVE YOU!!!! You have no idea how much your words helped me this week!

Still Hurting...

Well it's now Tuesday afternoon...almost quitting time, and I'm still hurting a little. Thats the sign of a good weekend!! I was in bed and asleep last night by 8 and yet I still feel exhusted today. The headach has lessened but the tiredness is still very present. How old am I getting that I can't even get through one night on the town with the girls with out taking three days to recover???
I remember the old days when living in Ottawa/Hull I could go weeks partying and have very few "rough" mornings...hell there were even week nights I'd be out at ICON and up the next morning at 7 am for work. What happened to THAT girl??? I feel like I'm 90 at times, in bed at 7:30 what is that??? IT's not even dark out yet!!!!!
Oh well, guess when it's been a while it takes a while to get back into it. This weekend definitly made me miss the old days. I forgot how much I loved to dance and let lose having a good time. I think the last time I went to a club to dance was before I moved from Ottawa...that was almost 5 years ago! How insane is that??
Unfortunately I still don't know Kitchener all that well, don't know the hot spots and the not hot spots...and really it's not like I'm 19 anymore. That and lets be honest, when you go to a club by yourself you seem to attract all the weenie gino's something I really don't need right now. As soon as they spot you by yourself look out... and literally I get the weenies!
When I got seperated from the girls Saturday night for a while I ended up having some guy come up and start dancing with me which was fine I guess until he started getting a little to close for comfort and asked me to go home with him. Who does that??? HELLO!!! I've never met you befor who knows what you have and what the hell?!?!?! Do I look like a slut?!?!?!

I had flash backs to the night Steph, Jaymes, Mike, Tim and Tim's friends Pat and James were at the Liqour Dome and some freaky old man (well he was in his 30's and at that time it was odl to me!) was hitting on me at the bar and Mike had to rescue me from him, and them later that night from Pat who ended up in my bed somehow... What would I have done without you that night Mike... heee hee Steph.... "Don't call my mom!!! Beeeeepppp beeeepppp"

Thats why I miss ICON and Maxim's so much... ICON was awesome for the simple fact that it was comfortable you knew that guys where there to have a good time not to be hitting on you (gay club) and you knew the chicks were there with thier gay friends for the same reason you were there for. Maxim's was awesome cause we had Oliver (Simone's husband) since he was a bouncer we had no worries what so ever when it came to guys. We had way to many awesome nights at that place to forget...heee heee I remember the one night we were at Simone's getting ready and Simone and I had drank an entire bottle of peach snaps stright... we got to the club and before long she was behind the club throwing up... I'll never forget her throwing up as Oliver held her hair back and she told him he had nice shoes on. It was priceless... (Sorry Si, just greart memories that make me laugh every time)
Man there are times I wish I had never left Ottawa, I feel like I was just getting back in contact with everyone again and living the life when I just picked up and left. If I could, I think I would do it all over again and stay just a little longer...or maybe longer then a little....

Ahhhhhhhh good times!!!

Bachlorette Fun

Well this past weekend was Tanya's bachlorette oarty in Kingston and I have to say it was a well needed night out with the girls. It was alot of fun! And it's funny because alot of us had met for the first time that night and you'd never have known it.
We started the day at the casino where we didn't spend to much time since we all came out short of course... I lost $60.00 between the slots and Roulette. From there we went to Kingston, checked into our hotel and got ready for dinner at the Lone Star. After dinner we headed back to the hotel to prepare for a night of bar hopping.
We started out at a bar called Philthy McNasty's. It was an okay bar, I think by the time we left there we were all well on our way to being loaded. Lots of dancing and $2 a mixed drink was just asking for trouble. From that bar we walked a couple of blocks to the next one. Elixer or something like that. We ended up having some better then everyone guy offer to be out stripper for the night. Which we passed on. We didn't stay long at that bar it wasn't really anyones kind of bar, felt a little old to be there. So we walked af ew more blocks to the next bar called "Grizzly's" or something like that. We stayed there until close and had an awesome time dancing and drinking.
From there we headed back to the hotel to party for a few more hours, nearly got kicked out from the noise complaints but didn't. I ended up passing out by about 3:30 from a long day of driving. I had been up since 5:30 that morning and knowing I had to drive home I thought I should probably get some sleep cause that drive home was brutal!!!
Alot of fun though and totally worth the long drive!!! Although I have to say for anyone who's thinking about it, driving four hours hung over and through Toronto is NOT FUN!!!
I thought when I got home I'd be able to go to bed and have a good nights sleep, as it turns out two hours later Scott woke me up. I guess he missed me which is fine, but i was just not in the mood to be woken up and annoyed. Even when i went back to bed hours later he continued to annoy me. Hoenstly sometimes I wonder about him!!!
I got to see Steph which was awesome. There are times you just really need your bestfriend and being so far apart takes it toll sometimes. I needed to see her and talk with her, get her advice on some things because really she's probably the one person who knows me best, and understands me best. She knows everything I've been through and has been there through everything with me. Definitly wish we were so much closer at times. Alot of times.
From there I went to see my beautiful neice, (and sister and brother in law) Alyssa is growing so much I just can't beleive it. I love that she knows who I am there no matter how long it's been since I've seen her. She knew it was "Auntie Loorie" as soon as I walked through the door. She put the coat I bought her on right away with Princess Cinderlla, and then discovered I had brought her a purse full of make up as well. that little girl loves her make up, mommy and daddy are in for a real treat as she gets into her teen age years! I got some great pictures of her!
From there I picked up Angie, (Tanya's brothers gf) who lives just down the street from my sister off of Merival. We drove up to Kingston and had a great car ride. Laughing and joking like we'd known eachother for years. First time we met was the weekend we all went camping at Algonquin. She's awesome though. That girl knows how to have a good time!
All in all it was a great weekend of a lot of fun. Definitly a memberable one. Those girls were all awesome! way to much fun to last only one night though!!!

Cross Road

So I'm at a point in my life where I am feeling so confused and so messed up. I love a wonderful man who has done so much for me, and I find myself thinking about the future and find myself scared. Is it wrong to look ahead and wonder what it'll be like based on what it's been like??
Can you love someone but not be with them? And if you love them but aren't with them is there any hope for a future together? How do you walk away from someone who you truley love without knowing that it's the right decision??? can it be undone or is it permanent? And if you aren't really happy will you ever be??
I have to admit, my heart is feeling pretty heavy these days. I have so much going through my mind and I feel so much that the two are coliding and I'm not able to make sense of any of it. All I know is that it's not fair to continue it.
Have any of you ever walked away from some one you love because of that simple reason that you do love them, but you're just not right for eachother. Or have you walked away only to realize later down the road that you do want them and you are right for eachother and it's to late to save it.
Or do we have to at times take a step back in order to save something that we want to save, that is worth saving?? Can you take a step back in order to move forward??
27 years old, (almost) and I've still got so much to learn in life. I could use all the help I can get.

So another weekend has come and gone AGAIN. Honestly what the hell is with the time just flying by? Its Monday morning and once again I'm completely exhusted! This weekend was spent cleaning the house top to bottom, doing laundry and a day trip to the Reserves in Brantford. Of course I managed to do some shopping as well...as always!
So as always Scott and I exchanged birthday presents early. I don't know why we do this but we do, birthdays and christmas always come early in our house. And neither one of us can figure out why the other gets excited over the things we do. I bought him an electric leaf blower/vaccum/multcher thingy, which he's wanted for a while and of course was so happy with, and he bought me a diamond and gold bracelet which I of course love. I can't understand why anyone would be excited about a tool and he can't figure out why anyone would be excited about jewlery but whatever.
Nothing new and exciting to report really, Matt and Tanya were over for dinner last night, they just got home from Ottawa where they were for the weekend. Yep Tanya is an Ottawa girl too...whoo hoo. Probably explains why we get along so well. Its funny when we think about it and how we've been in so many different cities and yet the guys have never left K-W for any extended period of time, hence the reason they will never understand why it is we're as close to family as we are, why we appreaciate family as much as we do, and why the drive is never to long for us!
Anyway I'll keep you all posted as to anything exciting that might happen... don't hold your breath though!!!

Is the weekend already over?

So it's Tuesday already, how crappy is that!! This past long weekend, really wasn't a long weekend at all, well it was long but not in the way it should have been. Friday night we had the gang over for a BBQ, I think I was probably past out by about 12:30. I have no idea what time everyone else left or fell asleep. I do know what time Scott came to bed as he woke me up rather unpleasantly but I'm not going to get into that.
Saturday I went to Brampton for the day did some shopping with my little sister, and anyone who's reading this NEVER take directions from Kim! She wanted me to take her to get fudge, so being to good big sis that I am, I figured airport rd yeah thats close... well no it wasn't. Airport Rd turned into Hwy 9 or something and we drove 1/2 hr to get fudge, and then when we finally go there, they didn't have very good fudge....
Sunday we started to clean our carpets, we got most of it done Sunday leaving only the dining room and stairs to do on Monday before returning the machine. And put a fire on in the backyard and relaxed for a few hours. It's amazing how even though it's a fire in my backyard it makes me feel miles away from everything. I love it!
Then Monday afternoon I wasn't feeling well for most of the day so I went to lay down for an hour thinking Scott would wake me, well he fell asleep on the couch and we both ended up sleeping for 4 hours. Needless to say it was midnight when we finally went to bed last night, only to toss and turn until about 4 am. Which explains why we're both so exhusted today.
Yep that was my exciting weekend....amazing isn't it??? Yes I'm being sarcastic.

IDIOTS!!!

The heat MUST be getting to people, they all drive like idiots! So I go home for lunch every day right cause I live litterally five minutes from the office and it helps break up the day, I get to see my puppy and kitty and most times Scott is already home from work. (Must be nice to work 4 hours and get paid for 8, or work 4 hours, pick up someones route who's on holidays and get paid time and half on top of the 8 hrs at regular time and still only work really 6 hours!-For those doing the math that's 6 hours and getting paid for 10)
Anyway thats another story, back to the dumb-ass drivers. So I'm on my way back to work from doing the banking for work. Normally I go for lunch, come back to the office, and then go out a little later to do the banking. Today I took a late lunch so I just did it all at one time. As I'm heading back to the office, this stupid little punk ass kid in the lane next to me sees the gas price at Can. Tire (1.02 everywhere else it's 1.12) and without looking or checking decides to fly into my lane so to get in line. Meanwhile some stupid red neck is hanging onto the street from the gas station in my lane. I had to slam so hard on the breaks that I thought for sure I was going through the windsheild, and that I was going to hit one of these morons.
Luckily the punk ass kid hit the gas and so I didn't hit him, however when we got the street light at the corner I threw the truck into park got out and YELLED and SCREAMED at him, sure enough it's a little 17 year old in Daddy's car! Normally I wouldn't but honestly!! I feel kinds bad I lost my temper, well not really, I feel worse that I almost made him cry, but then again not really. Maybe he'll learn to drive like a normal person I swear he got his license in Toronto or Quebec!
And whats with the never signaling a turn or lane change?? You know what I think that every two years anyone under 30 or over 50 should have to redo their drivers test! Ridiculous!!! How hard is it to flick that little stick right next to the wheel. And then there's the cell phone talkers, and I admit that I do talk on my phone while driving BUT not often. And when I am on my phone while driving it's a short VERY short call. Not like these dumb asses who you're stuck behind for 15 minutes who are constantly slamming on their brakes, or in between lanes because they're talking while TRYING to drive. Am I right or am I just getting old???